Yesterday got off to a bad enough start when Pitt’s men’s basketball team dropped its second-consecutive game in conference play, falling 82-78 at home to Louisville. That loss occurred, in large part, due to a complete inability to grab defensive rebounds, as the Cardinals grabbed 14 offensive boards, many of them timely, allowing them to attempt 13 more shots than the Panthers. 

Then 4:00 came around, and the Penguins took on the Ottawa Senators. It took five minutes and fourteen seconds for the Pens to fall behind 2-0, with the first Senators goal coming on their first shot of the game (a common theme among the Pittsburgh goaltenders), in what would be an embarrassing 5-0 defeat.

You may be able to imagine how I was feeling going into the nightcap of a Pittsburgh sports day—a Steelers playoff game on the road against the Baltimore Ravens. I can assure you, though. You have no idea how pissed off I am. If you do not like vulgar language, I would encourage you to stop reading now.

After a four-game losing streak during which you have gotten your teeth kicked in at every turn, one would imagine that there would be an emphasis on…I don’t know…starting fast? Then, of course, why the fuck would I expect that? In 2017, the Steelers trailed the Jaguars 21-0 at halftime in the playoffs. In 2020, they trailed the Browns 28-0 at halftime. In 2021, they trailed the Chiefs 21-7 at halftime. Last year, they trailed the Bills 21-0 at halftime.

Would this year be any different? NOPE! In fact, it was one of the most pathetic halves of football that I have ever watched from a playoff team—and I watched the Chargers play just a few hours earlier! The Steelers were out-snapped 41-18 in the first half. They were out-gained 308-59. Yes—they gave up THREE-HUNDRED EIGHT FUCKING YARDS in one half of football. For reference, there were eight NFL teams that averaged fewer than 308 total yards PER GAME in the regular season: the Jaguars, Titans, Raiders, Browns, Panthers, Giants, Patriots, and Bears.

Of those 308 yards allowed, 164 of them were accumulated on the ground. Remember—this was in one half. Do you know how many teams averaged fewer than 164 rushing yards per game in the NFL this season? 30. There were two teams (the Ravens and Eagles) that averaged more rushing yards per game than the Steelers allowed in the first half last night.

And, of course, the defense allowed 21 points, which is more than the season average of 12 teams. Just a reminder—the Steelers employ the NFL’s highest-paid defense. 

As I mentioned, the offense put up a pitiful 59 yards in the first half. They picked up just two first downs, while the Ravens were able to gain 19. Baltimore had as many goddamn first downs as the Steelers had rushing yards in the first half. The longest successful play the offense ran in the first half went for nine yards. The longest rush? Five yards. The longest pass attempt by air yards? Five. Five air yards. How the hell are you supposed to move the ball like that? Well, you aren’t. You do not move the ball like that, which was evidenced by the 59 total yards and two first downs.

In the first quarters of the Steelers’ past six playoff games, they have been outscored 73-0. In the first quarters of their last five games of this season, they have been outscored 47-3. How does a team expect to even be competitive if they are constantly playing from behind, especially with such consistently-shitty quarterback play?

This speaks more to coaching than anything else. Since December 8th, Tomlin’s team did not lead at any single point in an NFL game. I guess that is bound the be the case when you never do shit besides punt in the first quarter.

Let me be perfectly clear: I believe Mike Tomlin is a good coach. I am very grateful for everything that he has done as the head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, whether it be winning Super Bowl XLIII, leading us to Super Bowl XLV, dragging us to an eight-win season with Duck Hodges and Mason Rudolph as our quarterbacks, or countless other memories.

Coaches wear thin. Tomlin has been in Pittsburgh since I was in kindergarten—I am now two years removed from college. The organization has zero playoff wins in the past nine years, despite never having a losing record. Since their last playoff win (which was during the Barack Obama administration), TWENTY-EIGHT different head coaches have won a playoff game.

Time and again, the biggest argument I have heard against firing (or trading) Tomlin is that he would be hired by another team in seconds. Good! He would be deserving of another job and would have success elsewhere. That does not change the fact that he has not won jack shit in nearly a decade in the city of Pittsburgh.

We have gone through numerous coordinators on both sides of the ball who have become scapegoats, and rightfully so. Matt Canada was a fucking idiot. Arthur Smith is just Canada with a halfback pitch play that he spams like a broken remote button. Teryl Austin is a moron. His predecessor, Keith Butler, had as much defensive knowledge as his doppelgänger, Mister Ed.

There is a common denominator with these coordinators: they were all hand-picked by Mike Tomlin to be his assistants. At some point, you simply have to kill the snake by cutting off his head. The Tomlin approach simply does not work in the new era of football.

Do I expect the franchise to move on from Tomlin? Fuuuuuuuuck no. That would be like expecting the Pirates to spend money in free agency, or Erik Karlsson to play defense, or Guillermo Diaz Graham to use his height to…I don’t know…grab a board? But, there comes a time when SIGNIFICANT change is necessary, beyond simply changing coordinators and position coaches. 

Tomlin, Smith, and Austin all must vacate their positions in order for the Steelers’ organization to move in a positive direction. I am sick of the same shit, year after year, and nothing will change with Mike Tomlin at the helm.