After yesterday’s games, I have zero desire to discuss football. I am certainly not looking forward to the Super Bowl in thirteen days between the perennial winners (often aided by the zebras—as one could see in last night’s Chiefs-Bills contest) and the most disgusting city in the union (Philadelphia). Will I watch the game? Yes, but that is more a product of it being the last game of competitive football until the fall than it is a vested interest in the outcome of a contest between such undesirable teams. 

Instead of the NFL and the Steelers, today will focus on the Penguins. As we move away from football season, entries regarding the Penguins and Pitt basketball—and, unfortunately, the Pirates—will become increasingly common, albeit no more hopeful than the end-of-season outlook that was written immediately following the Steelers’ wild-card exit at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens. 

The Penguins have been good virtually all of my conscious life. I was born in 2001. Marc-André Fleury was drafted 1.01 in 2003. Evgeni Malkin was the second pick a year later. Sidney Crosby was the consensus number one pick a year after that, and Kris Letang was drafted in the third round the same season. Jordan Staal was drafted second in 2006. 

That is how you rebuild. It almost never happens by drafting late and having gems fall into your lap *cough* *cough* *Steelers*. The reality is that you need to be bad for a few seasons…and the Penguins were. They finished last in the Atlantic division between the 2001-02 and 2003-04 seasons and in the 2005-06 season. They could not finish last in the 2004-05 season because it did not take place due to a lockout. 

By the time I started to gain interest in sports, the Penguins’ rebuild had essentially been completed. The 2006-07 season (at the end of which I was six years old) saw them make the playoffs for the first time since they lost in the conference finals to the Devils in the spring of 2001. 

They were eliminated in the first round by the Senators, four games to one, but the team—and, more importantly, the organization, was trending upwards. 2007-08 saw the Penguins reach the Stanley Cup Final, where they would lose in six games to the Detroit Red Wings. The next year, they would get their revenge, beating Detroit in seven games to lift their first Cup since 1992. I still remember my heart skipping a beat as Fleury lunged across to rob Hockey Hall of Famer Nicklas Lidstrom of a game-tying goal with a mere two seconds left, securing the title. 

Between 2006-07 and 2021-22, the Penguins qualified for the postseason every year. It became routine for me to expect them to play more than 82 games (excluding the season that was shortened due to the COVID-19 pandemic). During that period, the Penguins won three Stanley Cups (the one against the Red Wings, 2015-16 against the San Jose Sharks, and 2016-17 against the Nashville Predators), appeared in four Cup Finals, and qualified for five Eastern Conference Finals. 

Between 2018-2019 and 2021-2022, though, the club went four consecutive years of one-and-done, losing in the first round (or, in the COVID year’s case, the “qualifying round”) in each. They were beginning to feel a bit Steelers-esque. I was hoping, almost praying, for something to change in the next season. 

There was change…just not the change that I wanted. For the first time since I was five years old, the Penguins failed to qualify for the playoffs in 2022-23, narrowly missing out in the final days of the season. They missed out in similar fashion last season. 

I do not anticipate the same soul-crushing, narrow margin this year. At the time of writing, the Penguins are one of the worst teams in the National Hockey League. They are in last place in the Metropolitan Division, one point behind the seventh-place Islanders despite having played three more games. They are seven points out of a wild card spot despite having played more games than any other team with whom they are competing. They have the second lowest point total in the Eastern Conference, only ahead of the annual doormat Buffalo Sabres. 

Evgeni Malkin was placed on injured reserve today and will miss multiple weeks. $5M+ average annual value goaltender Tristan Jarry was so awful this season that he was waived and demoted to the minor leagues. The team has three skaters with positive +/- tallies—one of them has only played six games. The club as a whole has a goal differential of -39, which is 18 lower than the next-worst team in the East. 

The decade between 2008 and 2018 was incredibly enjoyable as a Penguins’ fan. With that being said, the front office needs to learn from its past. They need to look at what the organization did in the early-to-mid-2000s and attempt to mimic a similar approach. As of right now, this team is not in any state to compete, and trying to do anything other than rebuild is a waste of time. I love watching them, but it is basically a death march. 

General Manager Kyle Dubas, if you are listening, trade everyone at the deadline. You cannot hold onto players in the hopes of “retooling” in lieu of a full rebuild. It is not feasible.