I want to begin this week’s entry on a personal note and express my gratitude for those that continue to read my angry ramblings. When I started writing this blog back in 2023, I did not expect it to become a source of catharsis for myself. A special shoutout is necessary for my grandfather for inspiring me to begin this project 16+ months ago, as I probably would not have done so otherwise.

Anyways, let us talk Pirates baseball (if one can consider what they have done in their first four games to be “baseball). I was hoping that, similar to last year, opening the season with a four-game series against a miserable Marlins’ team would help the Bucs get off to a positive start (they swept the Fish last year en route to a 4-0 start). 

While the Pirates’ batters are by no means impressive, I think most baseball fans can attest to the notion that only the most diehard Marlins’ fanatics (the players’ families) are familiar with those who bat for Miami. I follow Major League Baseball very closely, and even I had not heard of 70% of their hitters. 

All of that is to say that I did not expect our pitching to have much of an issue with their lineup. This was true…for the starters. On opening day, Paul Skenes allowed two earned runs over 5.1 innings. The next game, Mitch Keller tossed 6 innings of one-run ball. On Saturday, Bailey Falter allowed two earned runs across 6 frames. Yesterday, free agent addition Andrew Heaney surrendered a single run in 5 innings. Together, the four starters in the four-game series in Miami allowed six runs in 22.1 innings, amounting to an excellent earned run average of 2.42. 

The Pirates scored 14 runs across the four games. Is an average of 3.5 runs per game good? Absolutely not. The lineup is pathetic.  Nick Gonzales managed to fracture his ankle hitting a home run in the first game of the season. O’Neil Cruz is 2-11 on the year, although he has walked six times (he also has yet to figure out how to play center field, in case you were wondering). Bryan Reynolds has only amassed a .578 OPS in the first four games. 

With that said, scoring 3.5 runs per game, coupled with a starting rotation of 2.42 is not that bad, and theoretically should lead to wins against what should be a feeble Marlins team. 

However, the Pirates’ bullpen exists. On opening day, Skenes exited the game with a 4-1 lead (the pen would allow one of his base runners to score, but it was still 4-2 after six innings). Colin Holderman would give up two runs in the eighth to tie the game, and David Bednar would allow a leadoff triple and a walk-off single in the ninth to lose 5-4. 

On Friday, Bednar allowed two runs in the bottom of the ninth, but a three-run cushion was just enough, as the Buccos escaped with a 4-3 victory. 

On Saturday, free agent acquisition Justin Lawrence allowed the game-tying run in the seventh, and Joey Wentz would allow two ghost runners to score in two separate extra innings to lose 5-4. 

Yesterday, Holderman surrendered a game-tying homer in the seventh inning before Bednar ultimately conceded a walk-off (unearned) run. 

Through four games, the Pirates’ set-up man and closer (Holderman and Bednar, respectively) have earned run averages of 9.00 and 27.00. The bullpen has collectively allowed ten runs through four games, being responsible for all three losses. Bear in mind that the Pirates led in all four games when their starting pitcher was removed from the game. 

The Buccos are the first team in 121 years (since their own 1924 squad) to be walked-off for their first three losses in a season. 

Not only are the starting pitchers having wins taken away from them—wins that are earned, as seen from the team’s relative offensive ineptitude—but there cannot be a single fan alive that imagines a result other than a blown save and a loss when Bednar or Holderman enters the game. 

The most aggravating thing is that there are still 158 games remaining on the schedule, and this was supposed to be one of the easier series. How are the relief pitchers going to fare against teams like the Yankees, Dodgers, and Orioles? If you surrender runs to players that their mothers have never heard of, you certainly will struggle with Aaron Judge and Shohei Ohtani!

This is what happens when you try to assemble a roster with a budget the size of an atom—you throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. In the case of the Pirates, very few things ever stick. It is going to be a long season, so make sure that your expectations are sub-zero. 

Have a great week. Thank you for reading.